476. My Bittersweet Tale of Elijah Robert’s Einstein Patent 12B
Public Service Announcement SYSTEM DAY 2025 IS COMING Wednesday, September 3rd. I began celebrating the day of the final System patent in 2018, because to me it represents one of the Great Days of Kapp & Peterson history. Since then, it's grown to such an extent that while it probably hasn't eclipsed today's International Bacon Day celebration (yes, it's a thing), and while hardly anyone outside our community has heard of it, we love it. The best thing is, if you want to join us on this most auspicious day of the Peterson year, there's no fees, no fuss, no credit ratings--you don't even have to buy a new Pete (despite what Chris Lauer says). No, all you need is to select one of your own Peterson Systems from the rack and smoak it. If you like, of course, you can go large by adding a Merit Badge or even get your Certified Pete Geek certificate by simply following the Official Entry Instructions at the end of this post. My Bittersweet Tale of Elijah Robert’s Einstein 12B Patent As we approach System Day 2025, I’ve got a really special Patent System to share with you this morning: the 12B, the very shape used in the “Chip of the Old Post” advertisement and smoked by Albert Einstein, that Thinking Man non pareil. Those who read a lot of fiction or watch lots of film know there’s three basic endings: the happy ending, #1, where the hero rides off into the sunset and all is well; then there’s the tragic ending, #2, where everyone dies (literally or metaphorically); finally, there’s the “zero” ending, #3, where you scratch your head and think, “I wonder what happened later?” I’d like to say my story this morning has a happily-ever-after ending, but even though no dogs died (see #2) and there was pipe smoking (see #1), it’s still more or less a rolling doughnut (see #3). The actual story unfolded over several weeks, but in the interests of your patience and my carpal tunnel, we’ll just touch bases of the plot triangle: establishing conflict (pipe as received), rising action (sterling band and mortise), first conflict (stem), second conflict (bowl), turning point (chamber), climax (chamber restoration), falling action (completion of restoration) and resolution (pipe as smoked). I won’t say you’ll need a box of tissue, but you might get out your bottle of sympathy (in the large economy size, please). Establishing Conflict (Pipe as Received) This is a 1st Quality 12B. The shape confirmation is easy, since it’s just a matter of laying it atop the matching image in the new 1906 catalog. When Elijah sent me his Patent 12B, he had recently received it back from a professional whom I admire. He had asked for a bowl polish, lightening the bowl color if at all possible; a chamber re-coat; and a stem polish. Here’s what he saw: I was puzzled by several things, since this was a pro restoration—the splotchy surface of the bowl, the…