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Detail of Bilbo from a pencil sketch by J.R.R.T.

Today (September 22nd) is Hobbit Day, marking the beginning of Tolkien Week 2024. Many observe the day with with birthday cake—in honor of Bilbo and Frodo, whose birthdays are today.  I’m thinking just as many celebrate with a tankard of beer from the Prancing Pony (yes, it comes in pints) and as many more with a pipe of good tobacco.

It’s fairly common knowledge that one of the dharma doors to pipe smoking of the past 50 years or so is The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.  It was in fact mine, when in my first nine weeks of high school I was marooned at home with mononucleosis. After finishing my day’s academic work—which took about 90 minutes—I’d spend the remainder reading at whim.  That reading was drawn mostly from Ballantine’s Adult Fantasy series of the late 1960s and early 1970s, which included books by such greats as Lord Dunsany, H. P. Lovecraft, E. R. Eddison, David Lindsay, George MacDonald, and of course Tolkien.  I was so taken with Middle Earth that I knew I needed to learn to smoke a pipe.  My dad, a very irregular pipeman at the time, had two Kaywoodies in a drawer in the living room.  Armed with one of them and some Cherry Royale (from Ted’s Pipe Shoppe in Tulsa), I took my first steps on the road.  As Bilbo sings,

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

As far as pipes are concerned, it’s been a long, good road, looking back 51 years now. It’s brought me into the good fellowship not only of those who read this blog, but the best friends of my life.  So when Eric B. emailed me a few weeks ago and asked if I knew today was Bilbo and Frodo’s birthday and might we not find a way to celebrate Hobbit Day (yes, it’s been a real thing since 1978), my heart immediately warmed to it. But how? How else but by reverting to another “thought experiment” as we’ve done here so often in the past (and thank you, Walker Percy, for this fruit-bearing notion).

Bilbo gazing at his rotation in the 1977 animated film

What if we each become our own armchair cinematic “property master” by selecting appropriate Peterson pipes for  our favorite characters in Tolkien’s legendarium?  One immediate payoff is that we can thereby erase some of the goofiness of Peter Jackson’s WETA Workshop paper mache frankenpipes in favor of real pipes, Peterson pipes, pipes that would have lent ever so much more grace and charm to his films.

The Challenge Merit Badge

 If you need a refresher, you’ve got time to rewatch the movies (there’s only six, after all) or re-read the books. I even know where you can get a great set of pipe smoker’s Spark Notes.  The reward is another awesome Merit Badge to tack onto to your Certified Pete Geek certificate, or the CPG itself if you somehow don’t yet have one.

As usual with these kind of events, you can submit your answers to petegeek1896@gmail.com. To be eligible you must include at least one photo. Shall we say All Hallow’s Eve (October 31^st) as the deadline?

Just to get the ideas flowing, here’s a few of my choices, although I’m expecting you to come up with better ones:

The Burren at sunrise

I would begin by imagining the landscape of Middle Earth. Impossible, you say? There are a number of informed pundits who believe that it’s the Irish, not the English, landscape that spoke most to Tolkien when he was writing his saga. And in Ireland, none so thrilled him as that area called the Burren, where he and his friend C. S. Lewis took more than one walking tour.  It’s a must for any Peterson pilgrimage and, of course, as a pilgrimage site for Middle Earth fans.

Wexford berries

There are a number of amazing B&Bs in the Burren, some forrested trails, and all manner of enchanting flora. With any luck you’ll be there in Wexford strawberry season.  These berries, smaller than what we’re used to in the US, are so sweet that you can eat the greens on them as well.

B10 Burren (2018)

 

Like the Donegal Rocky line, the Burren is one of Peterson’s most aptly-named lines. Its predecessor, the Rogha–see Post #88 and #92–was actually the first of Peterson’s natural vergin sandblast lines, but it was produced in such small numbers that I doubt most have even heard of it. While Burren pipes received some criticism when they were released in 2018 for their slightly blemished bowls, they were the true beginning of all the wonderful natural finish sandblasts blasts and rustics that have come afterwards.

 

Bilbo

It’s impossible for me not to begin by considering the first (but by no means only) pipe Bilbo smokes, the one that reached down to his toes, the one he’s smoking on his front porch in the opening pages of The Hobbit.  From Tolkien’s point of view as an author, that pipe was undoubtedly imagined as a type of the European gesteckpfeife (“stick pipe”) that our own Gary Hamilton CPG so lovingly restored not too long ago. The smoking of such pipes is, I am afraid, a lost art.  They’re available for almost nothing on eBay and elsewhere, sometimes in great shape, sometimes not, as mere curiosities.  But I digress!

A Patent System from the collection of Marc Brousseau,
looking like a still from Bilbo’s front hall in my own imagined version of  The Hobbit.

Looking for a Peterson to fill the bill, it simply has to be a System House Pipe, a Patent with a super-long mouthpiece. The photo above, from Marc Brousseau’s collection, fits the bill to perfection.

D15

 I didn’t choose one of the churchwardens K&P has made continuously since 1945, like the amazingly Tolkieneseque  D15 seen above, although they’re quite popular with first-time pipe smokers. They’re not expensive and they match the look of Jackson’s films. Yet until a CPG tells me he smokes one on a regular basis, I can’t go beyond my own experience of these pipes as uniformly unpleasant.  I have, however, smoked a Patent System House Pipe with an even longer stem, and here’s the crucial difference: the Patent House Pipe pipe has a graduated bore, a P-Lip, and a condenser. It’s the coolest, absolute coolest in temperature, of any pipe I’ve ever smoked.  And if you ask Ken Sigel, Marc Brousseau, Paul Combs and other CPGs who champion and smoke these pipes they’ll tell you the same: once lit, they effortlessly stay lit.  And the bends on System House Pipes, do notice, don’t foist the bowl out to the end of your arm, but down, bringing them close enough not only to light but comfortable to hold–like Marc’s pipe seen above.  There is a huge, untapped market here for K&P, and I believe it would make Peterson fans out of many non-Peterson pipe smokers.  Most of us would pay the price of a De Luxe or Premier System for just a House Pipe stem alone.

 

Gandalf

A Mycroft PSB

 Gandalf’s pipe in Moria has long fascinated me, because it’s the one he smoked to help him find the way when the Fellowship became lost: “always follow your nose,” he told Frodo—and Gandalf’s nose was pointing into the tunnel where the tobacco smoke was drifting, showing them the way up and out onto the mountainside.

 

Thorin Oakenshield

A 221 amber spigot from the 2018 Maker’s Series

 Thorin’s Pete needs to be warm and opulent, fit for a king but one in exile and frequently on the move.  What better for sitting beside Bilbo’s hearth and blowing smoke rings with Gandalf than a silver cap flame grain 221 Facing Mount amber spigot from the 2018 Maker’s Series? Nothing!

 

Glóin

 The seldom-seen Pickaxe, shape 11

For Glóin I choose the seldom-seen Pickaxe, shape 11.  Even more than his son Gimli, this dwarf’s heart belonged forever and always to the mines under the mountains. Peterson’s Pickaxe, shape 11, is one I think would do really, really well in the current catalog.  The shank could sport a great sterling band. Add  Celtic stamping, and you’d think you were in Middle Earth.  The pipe is actually rather small, if I remember correctly, with a chamber only about 17mm across.

  

Meriadoc Brandybuck

306 Rustic Spigot

Merry was the Shire’s master of herblore and the certainly the most knowledgeable smoker of his day—although you wouldn’t know it from the Wikipedia entry on him, which doesn’t even mention his love of pipe smoking. Merry’s greatest contribution, aside from participating in the fellowship, was in fact his book Herblore of the Shire, which is quoted in the introduction to LOTR and contains a great deal of what we know about pipe smoking and tobacco among the hobbits and other denizens of Middle Earth (yes, tobacco, not marijuana as the world loves to falsely proclaim–a bit of fake news also introduced by Peter Jackson’s films) .

I’ve given a great deal of thought on what kind of Peterson Merry would smoke. I’m sure by his later years he had a larger pipe collection than anyone else in Middle Earth with the possible exception of Pippin, but what would he have taken on the quest?  All I can do is put down a place holder for a pipe I feel sure was somewhere in his rotation—a rustic 306 Spigot. I think he would have liked it for its resemblance and feel to the roots of the woods and its flat bottom, useful for an evening at the Prancing Pony.

 

Peregrin Took

Short Army 87 and 68 from 2023

 Pippin was every bit, if not more devoted to the pipe as Merry. Not as scholarly, of course, but it was Pippin who took two pipes with him on the quest.  Tolkien, unlike certain anti-pipe movie directors, never accuses Pippin of smoking too much. I imagine the hobbit was simply like those pipemen of an earlier generation who more or less kept their pipes in their mouths and were smoking on and off throughout the day.  That being the case, I’d picture Pippin with two of the Short Army pipes from 2023.

 

Gimli

 Celtic Ebony XL90 (2017)

I’m going to conjecture here—since this is my telling of The Hobbit and LOTR—that at some point after Sauron is destroyed and Gimli is showing Legolas the many marvels of the underground caves and mines of Middle Earth, Legolas responds with an appropriate gift—a black, full-bodied XL90 Celtic with a silver band (doubtless mithril) stamped with Celtic knots.

 I could go on, as I haven’t yet come to some of my favorite characters–Sam for one–and of course you’ll have other characters and Petes in mind for them than the ones I’ve mentioned here.  In anticipation of your findings, I’ll end with another verse of Bilbo’s song, this one sung by Frodo:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

Yes, he really did say this

 

Many thanks to Eric B., for the marvelous idea,
and to Smokingpipes.com and Todd Becker of Deadmanpipes
for some of the photos.

The Burren at twilight

 

A  2024 CHRISTMAS PIPE CODA

 I hope everyone found the Christmas Copper Top she or he wanted. Josh Burgess at Peterson sent me some additional information I thought everyone interested in this pipe would appreciate: “This year we made just shy of 2500 Christmas pipes for all countries. That’s about on par with what we usually do, but scaled back a bit since these are spigots and require a bit more time in the factory. We were really happy to be able to offer copper again.  And it’s funny, we actually have kicked around the idea of a copper mounted System or Deluxe System. I think either would be really nice.

XL02 Smooth

“The stain on the smooth Christmas pipes is  not Terracotta—it’s actually the color we use on the Kildare line. I’m really fond of it, and I think it looks really nice with the copper.”

 

The 10th Anniversary PPN Shirt Has Been Orderd!

Larry Gosser has ordered the 10th Anniversary PPN / Sherlock shirts and says they’ll go out in 2-3 weeks time.
Also, he should have a few left in Large and XL.  If you’re interested, contact him at ldgosser@comcast.net.